Mature, uneven, steamy romance takes on tough issues.
Parents Need to Know
Why Age 16+?
Any Positive Content?
compassion, <a href=https://www.commonsensemedia.org/book-reviews/"/articles/what-is-perseverance">perseverance, and <a href=https://www.commonsensemedia.org/book-reviews/"/articles/what-is-empathy">empathy. She helps a schoolmate who doesn't have a place to live by giving him food, clothing, and shelter and doesn't judge him by his housing situation. She understands how other people feel and becomes better and putting herself in others' shoes. She works hard to achieve her dream and doesn't give up even when it's hard. Atlas is a good model of <a href=https://www.commonsensemedia.org/book-reviews/"/articles/what-is-humility">humility and <a href=https://www.commonsensemedia.org/book-reviews/"/articles/what-is-integrity">integrity. Once he becomes successful he doesn't brag or make a big deal about it, he just keeps doing what he loves. He's very patient with Lily and never pressures her or acts inappropriately when she's not romantically available.</p>
">
Sex, Romance & Nudity
a lot
Detailed, erotic descriptions of adults having sex mention genital and manual penetration, manual stimulation, thrusting, tremors, entering, pulling out, moaning, biting, tremors, jerking with release, a tongue on a breast, and detailed descriptions of kissing with tongue and caressing. Teen sex in the past is described vaguely with kissing and breathing. Characters talk and think a lot about romance and having sex. Condom use is mentioned once. Sex is used to intimidate when a man arouses a woman by penetrating her with his fingers and while doing so pulling hard on her hair, squeezing her throat, and asking her questions out of jealousy.
Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Sex, Romance & Nudity in your kid's entertainment guide.
Witnessing physical abuse throughout childhood is a strong theme. The narrator describes her father slapping, choking, attempting to rape, and knocking her mother to the floor. She also hears him beating a friend with a baseball bat and the sound of bones breaking. In the present the narrator is pushed down stairs, head butted, bitten, nearly raped, hit, and knocked down by her husband. Blood, pain, and fear are described without being gory. Mention of past suicidal thoughts and holding a razor to a wrist. A character reveals scars on the arms from receiving cigarette burns. Past instances of children accidentally shooting and killing a sibling. Sex is used to intimidate when a man arouses a woman by penetrating her with his fingers and while doing so pulling hard on her hair, squeezing her throat, and asking her questions out of jealousy.
Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Violence & Scariness in your kid's entertainment guide.
Adults occasionally drink wine and beer, not to excess but mild drunken behavior is shown. A few times drinking hard liquor or drinking to excess happen and result in violence. A character smokes marijuana once.
Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Drinking, Drugs & Smoking in your kid's entertainment guide.
Rare, incidental mentions of consumer products, usually to establish character.
Positive Messages
a lot
Breaking a familiar cycle is very difficult; it's much easier and less scary to stay in the cycle you know, even if you know it's not a good one. Instead of wondering why women stay in abusive relationships, we should wonder why men are abusive. Character isn't the mistakes you make, because everybody makes them; character is taking your mistakes and turning them into lessons, not excuses. There's no such thing as bad people; we're all just people who sometimes do bad things.
Positive Role Models
a lot
Lily is a model of compassion, perseverance, and empathy. She helps a schoolmate who doesn't have a place to live by giving him food, clothing, and shelter and doesn't judge him by his housing situation. She understands how other people feel and becomes better and putting herself in others' shoes. She works hard to achieve her dream and doesn't give up even when it's hard. Atlas is a good model of humility and integrity. Once he becomes successful he doesn't brag or make a big deal about it, he just keeps doing what he loves. He's very patient with Lily and never pressures her or acts inappropriately when she's not romantically available.
Diverse Representations
very little
All characters read as cisgender, heteronormative, able bodied, neurotypical, and White. One minor character is gay.
Parents need to know that It Ends With Us is a contemporary romance by popular author Colleen Hoover, who has attracted a lot of attention from book influencers on TikTok. This adult book (which was adapted into a movie in 2024) isn't marketed to teens, there's a lot of teen appeal here, not just in the sexy stuff but also in the extended passages from the narrator's high school diary. Sexual content includes erotic and specific descriptions of sex between adults including genital and manual penetration, manual stimulation, thrusting, tremors, entering, pulling out, jerking with release, and more. Sex in the past between teens is described vaguely mentioning only kissing and breathing. Domestic violence is a very strong theme, with the narrator remembering growing up seeing her father hit and abuse her mother many times, including almost raping her mother once. As an adult the narrator experiences abuse at the hands of her husband like being pushed down stairs, pushed or knocked against hard surfaces, and needing stitches after being head-butted. Sexual stimulation is used to intimidate by being threatening while causing sexual arousal. A past thought of suicide mentions holding a razor to a wrist. A character shows arms scarred with marks from cigarette burns. Strong language includes "s--t," "c--k," "d--k," and "f--k." A character smokes marijuana once. Adults drink beer and wine with some tipsiness shown. Excess drinking and drinking hard liquor are always followed by violence. An author's note at the end lists a resource for victims of domestic violence and a link to resources for people who are unhoused.
This was probably the worst book i’ve ever read. Even when overlooking the romanticized abuse, the plot as a whole is utterly ridiculous.
The characters have no personality and are extremely unrealistic. All of them are highly successful for no reason, with no evidence of hardships to get there. Theres no build up or character development, and everything feels forced and unnatural. It reads like a book written at a 5th grade reading level with random sex scenes scrambled in.
The main character makes decisions that no rational person would make, completely overdriven by her unreasonable sexual attraction towards the men in the story, painting her as unnecessarily submissive and immature. It’s unclear why she ever even falls in love with them, as there is no real chemistry shown. In her first interaction with Ryle, he makes blunt sexual comments that would make any rational woman uncomfortable when speaking with a stranger.
There are plenty of books that showcase abusive relationships in order to help readers understand the complexities of being in one, but Hoover really falls short in trying to do so.
I don’t understand where any of the hype for this book came from. I hope beginner readers don’t start off with this book, or any of Hoover’s in general, as it’ll spoil how you will later distinguish good writing from bad.
IT ENDS WITH US tells the story of Lily Bloom, a 23-year-old who recently moved to Boston after graduating college. One night she meets Ryle, a handsome 30-year-old who's almost completed his neurosurgery residency. As Lily is getting to know Ryle and trying to figure out her feelings for him, she's also trying to understand her past and find the courage to pursue her dream by reading the diary she kept when she was 15, in high school, falling in love for the first time, and bearing witness to her father's physical abuse of her mother. When she coincidentally runs into her first love again, a lot of feelings come back to the surface. Feelings that threaten everything Lily is building with Ryle.
The writing in this contemporary romance is a bit uneven, with corny, overused phrases and predictable cliches. Author Colleen Hoover is at her strongest, though, in the diary entries the narrator reads from when she was 15 years old. They add a lot of emotional honesty to It Ends With Us, and make narrator Lily easy to understand and root for.
Of course the sexy stuff has built-in appeal, but teens will also enjoy imaging what their own lives might become after high school. And the author's honest treatment of tough subjects like being unhoused and domestic violence will foster empathy and understanding, and add depth to what would otherwise be a pretty standard romance novel.
Talk to Your Kids About ...
Families can talk about the sexy stuff in It Ends With Us. Is it too much? How much is OK in books and other media? Is it a big deal?
What about the violence? Domestic violence is a difficult subject. Does the author handle it well? Did you learn anything about it? Check the author's note in the back if you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence.
Was there anything about Atlas' housing situation as a teen that surprised you? How does being 18 and still in high school make it harder for him to find help?
Available on:
Paperback, Nook, Audiobook (unabridged), iBooks, Kindle
Last updated:
November 8, 2022
Did we miss something on diversity?
Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive portrayals in media. That's why we've added a new "Diverse Representations" section to our reviews that will be rolling out on an ongoing basis. You can help us help kids by
suggesting a diversity update.
Common Sense Media's unbiased ratings are created by expert reviewers and aren't influenced by the product's creators or by any of our funders, affiliates, or partners.
By Andrea Beach
,
based on child development research. How do we rate?
