How to Share Screen Time Rules with Relatives, Babysitters, and Other Caregivers

We know it's hard enough trying to set screen rules and boundaries with our kids, but reinforcing these rules with other caregivers can be even more of a challenge. Whether it's time they spend with a co-parent, babysitter, grandparents, or other relatives, it can be tough to make sure everyone knows—and follows—the same screen rules. But consistency is key for helping kids adapt to these boundaries. So it's important to find an effective way of clearly communicating your screen preferences to all the people who help care for them.

Here are some tips to express your wishes to other caregivers. Use them as guidelines for having meaningful discussions without being judgmental. Remember, the goal is to maintain your family's digital well-being by keeping everyone on the same page. It can help to be honest, understanding, and respectful when bringing up this topic. Try not to imply that your rules are better than theirs, just that this is the approach you've chosen for your family.

Co-Parent or Other Caregiver

• Stay flexible and compromise. It's important to agree on some basics to present a united front to the kids. But sometimes, one parent or caregiver is more relaxed about screen time, which can be frustrating to the parent who holds firmer limits. Explain your point of view and hear each other out. It can help to have frequent check-ins about what's working and what's not.
  • Ask: "I'd like our kids to put away their screens during mealtimes and family time. How do you feel about that? Can we talk about an approach that works best for both of us?"
• Correct mistakes. If one parent or caregiver doesn't stick to the plan, discuss the issue privately, away from the kids. Change is more likely to happen when the situation is addressed calmly and respectfully.
  • Ask: "We agreed the kids weren't ready for PG-13 movies, and they saw a horror movie with you. Can we talk about how we handle screen time rules together and explain any changes to the kids?"

Family Members and Friends

• Be clear. Taking a direct and straightforward approach can avoid any misunderstandings about your rules around entertainment and tech.
  • Say: "Our kids don't use tech during dinnertime. Can you please make sure they follow this rule?"
• Handle misunderstandings. If your family members or friends bend or break your rules, gently remind them of your preferences and why.
  • Ask: "It's important to me that my young child doesn't use a tablet without adult supervision. Could you please keep an eye on them when they're using a device and engage with them during screen time?"

Babysitters

• Be specific about what is and isn't OK. Consider sharing a list of do's and don'ts with them.
  • Say: "I don't want them watching any TV at all, but they can play 30 minutes of video games after finishing their homework."
• Prepare them for any challenges they might face. Sometimes kids try to extend their screen time. We've all been there!
  • Say: "My kid will probably ask you to watch another episode of their favorite show before bed, but please try to stick to their routine. We don't use screens for at least an hour before bedtime."
• Check in. When it comes to your kids, speak up about your expectations. It's helpful for those who watch your kids to know where you stand on everything from bedtime to posting pictures of your kids online.
  • Say: "Just a reminder, we have a no-screen policy an hour before bedtime, and please don't post any pictures of them online without checking with us first."

Sierra Filucci, former editorial director, contributed to this.